i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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