in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
cat food counts as protein by the way
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
