so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
