Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
