i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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