I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
