i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
