Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
