if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
