so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize