I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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