Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
