Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
