"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
