So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize