just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
