Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
