we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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