If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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