We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
try to milk me bitch
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