why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
