yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
