i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
