We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
