hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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