Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
