I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
