I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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