I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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