We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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