i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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