Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
