Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
