Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
