WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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