he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
