Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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