In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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