Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
