Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
