that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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