You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize