Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize