you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
