So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
