My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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