Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
