How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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