So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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