Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
