But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
