youre lurking in front of me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
