Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
