if i can run in heels then i can drive
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
