Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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