Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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