Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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