turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
