Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
